Feb. 8, 2009

I can hardly believe this is the end of my fifth week. Ten pounds down. I must be looking different as people will tell me that I look so good in some outfit. But it is the same old outfit, so I am assuming it is this slow weight loss. I read the blog of an opera star in San Antonio who is losing weight. She called her diet, “a fat relocation project.” Anyhow here I am, and if I really, really try I can button this vest.

 
 

It is not my favorite television show, but I frequently watch the Biggest Loser. There is something so intriguing about people losing 20 pounds in one week. And the winners never show any sagging skin. I wonder if that is a result of the exercise, youth, or cosmetic surgery. The New York Times had an article about the contestants’ eating habits during the show and after the show. Many eat less than the recommended calories and seem to enjoy the feeling of starvation during the show.  One winner, the man in the picture, has gained 100 pounds back. 

Here I am reading the NY Times this morning.  I just bought this new lampshade for this funky lamp, and it makes me very happy.

To lose two pounds a week, I have to have a 7000 calorie deficit. The weekends are usually going out for dinner so I have to put all my efforts into five days. I figure by cutting out two drinks per day, I have cut 250 calories a day, 1250 in total. With me a few drinks leads to mindless snacking, I can cut out an additional 300 calories (3 small Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups or three handfuls of chips) or 1500. If I spend time on the treadmill/stairmaster in addition to my walk, which I do all seven days, there is an additional 3500 calories. That means I only have to consciously eliminated another 150 calories a day. So without too much deprivation, I can drop this weight!

As one friend said, our culture pushes the fact that women need to be slim, from the very beginning. I remember when my granddaughter was born She was so  long and lean. Her feet were so long. The pediatrician looked at her and said, "She will never have to worry about being fat.” I thought it was a weird comment to make about a newborn.

We equate fat with weakness, no will power and overindulgence. I am not sure about this. Yes, I love to eat so part of this is clearly my indulgences. But part is genetic - a propensity to being plumpish. Yet in this society being fat for a woman  is feeling like a constant failure,  a very obvious failure that no tent-like jacket hides. It is not something that drags me down everyday, but I obviously spend too much time fretting about it. I should spend as much time thinking about improving my mind.

Men don’t like being fat, but I don’t believe most berate themselves about it. Once they decide to go on diet, they are very pragmatic.  They do it without much fanfare and lose the weight in a tidy, efficient manner. They make two or three changes, and the weight just melts off. It seems to me every pound hangs on to me, begging not to let go.