Lulu changes

This is the first entry into my blog about losing weight. I am 62 years old and fat, and I hate that. I have hated it for five years (the last time I was slim - see me in my sweatshirt) but finally I hate it so much that I am committing to losing weight in 2009.

I just read that people don’t lose weight until the cons outweigh the pros. I have reached that point. I have decided to call this blog, “Lulu changes” because I like the nickname, “Lulu”. Some friends call me Lulu, and my grandsons call me “Grandma Wuwu”.

Past history

I lose weight best when I sign up to be weighed every week - Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, etc. But we live in the country now, and it’s too hard to go into town in the winter at nights. Weight Watchers in Torrington, Ct, about 20 miles from where I live, has its weekly weigh-in’s in a cavernous hall that smells of old cigarettes and beer. I think it is a Knights of Columbus Hall. Even when it is filled with women or mainly women, all waiting to be weighed, it is still empty, sorely needs painting, and depressing.

Online groups only semi work for me because when it gets too hard to lose weight I stop playing. So I have decided to put myself out in cyberspace. Every week I will post a picture of myself on the web - that will be my weigh-in. I will feel as though there are a hundred eyes on me.

It’s in my genes

All my life I have struggled with my weight – my Grandmother, must have struggled too. Her nickname was "Juno"  for the larger-than-life Greek Goddess. She only wore black because she couldn’t afford many clothes and was a widow, but I think she also must have found black to be slimming. I wear a lot of black – my closet is full of black – and I am not a widow. My siblings also struggle with their weight, and there have been times when I have been the thinnest, but no more!

Diets

I have tried almost all the diets. I order diet books online and then never read them. One year, I gathered all the diet books in my house and gave them to the Woman’s Society rummage sale in a brown paper bag. There were no names in them. Some were brand new. My husband, who was a book sorter, came home and told me everyone laughed when they opened the bag of diet books. I didn’t tell him they were from me.

I know how to diet but I want it to be easy. I like food and I like alcohol. Alcohol makes me want to eat. To lose weight I have to cut back on my carbs and stop drinking. That should be easy, but it is not.

My husband
       

My husband is very disciplined and is slim. He does not like getting fat and frets

when he gains a pound or two. Over the years, he has learned to be very gentle with me about my weight. He never says that I am fat, which is very sweet. He loves it when I am slim and says, “Stay this way.” But I don’t.

He also is hypoglycemic and has a lot of food around the house – some of it is bad for me. Here is picture of our pantry with his shelf – Reese’s Peanutbutter Cups –who can resist those, especially after a glass or two of wine? We always have chips too. 70% of the time I am disciplined too, but 30% of the time I am not. I will make him get rid of the Reese’s. I love salt so I will lobby for unsalted chips – they taste bad even when I have wine.

Photographs

I can pretty much live in a fantasy world of not feeling fat if I don’t look at pictures of myself or in the mirror full-length. I am tall and big-boned so I tend to dominate a picture even when I am slim. This is a picture of my Dad taken in the 1950s at a sales meeting. He was only 6’3” but he looks like a giant. My husband is under strict orders not to take pictures of me. My husband’s cousin takes tons of family pictures, and she is in many of the pictures. She puts them on Facebook. I want to do that.

2009 challenge dates

We are going with friends to Eleuthra at the end of February. I will have to wear shorts and a bathing suit. This is my first challenge date because I won’t be happy being this heavy, and I don’t think any of my shorts fit me. I have all these clothes in my basement that used to fit me. My closet is very empty upstairs as I don’t like to buy clothes, because I already have beautiful clothes in smaller sizes. (See my clothes waiting for me!) At the end of 2009, my goal is to have my closet full again.

The second challenge date is visiting family and friends in May. We will visit my husband’s cousins in May, and they are very fit. I like feeling fit, and frankly you can’t feel fit when you are carrying 40 extra pounds. There are other trips and maybe a wedding so I need to get going on this life change.